Here is the form:
1. event (x) happens
2. percieved trend (y) occurs
3. since (x) happened before (y), (x) therefore caused (y)
For example:
1. Organized state-led prayer in public schools was deemed unconstitutional in 1963.
2. Since 1963 the culture seems to have gotten more violent and coarse.
3. Therefore, declaring public school prayer unconstitutional has made America a more violent and coarser nation.
This is fun, I think I'll try a couple of my own.
1. The phrase "under God" was added to the Pledge of Allegiance in 1954.
2. Since 1954 the divorce rate has gone up.
3. Therefore, adding "under God" to the Pledge has caused the divorce rate to climb.
or...
1. The motto "In God We Trust" was added to American currency in 1957.
2. John F. Kennedy was assasinated in 1963.
3. "In God We Trust" killed Kennedy.
Of course the massive cover-up led by "under God" has completely obscured "In God We Trust"'s involvement in the JFK murder plot, but someday history will shine a light into those dark corners and the truth will come out.
7 comments:
How about:
1. Terrorists struck our nation on September 11th, 2001.
2. We went to war with Iraq because we feared they had weapons of mass destruction.
3. To fight terrorism we went to war with Iraq.
If only it wasn't so true.
Or, for you conspiracy theorists:
1. Oil is necessary for the US.
2. The middle east has oil.
3. Bush plans a terrorist attack, to be carried out by Middle Easterners.
4. Congress passes the Patriot Act.
5. Bush invades Iraq.
6. Bush gets oil.
PS. 6 hasn't happened yet.
Well if everyone wasn't "under God" instead of their respective spouse maybe the divorce rates would be lower.
I knew I recognized that dude with the robe, beard, and M-40 crouching on the grassy knoll.
1. In 1976 George W. got a dui.
2. Since 1976 dui's have increased dramatically.
3. Someone should have just taken W's license in 1976.
1. The wheel was invented by some caveman.
2. Since then, automobile accidents have cause many pointless deaths of children.
3. Cavemen kill babies.
Too simplistic?
Dude, just say it - you hate Jesus and the very idea of God.
FYI - Cavemen didn't invent the wheel. The ancient Egyptians didn't even have the wheel. You seem to be just as bad as those prejudiced guys from Geico, blame someone else for killing babies and leave those hardworking cavemen alone!
And for the record, that 4:51 Dec 14th anonymous wasn't me.
Cool, our first anonymous troll. I wish I had noticed that three days ago. Of course, he's partially right: I probably do hate his idea of God.
And gobula, no need to state your innocence, I know your style. When you go for satire it's unambiguous.
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