Lost in Transmutation

Sometimes I wonder... and then I stop that and start thinking. So, the way I see it, sanity is like a roller coaster and my safety bar has come loose. I was thinking about something I heard a long while back that was kind of interesting and I thought it would be of interest to this group. There are those that believe that man evolved from apes. There are those that also believe that apes evolved from some form of life form that crawled from the water and decided it liked trees. However, there are also those that believe that man evolved from water-dwelling apes. I kid you not. The "proof" of this is that when you get in the water, your hair works with your body to make you move more effectively in the water, such as when you are swimming how it sticks down to your body, or how when you are floating it stands our giving you a larger mass, thus making it easier for you to float. I can go along with that, and I can go along with the idea that the reason apes no longer like to go near water is that, deep down in their psyches, they do not want to return form whence they came. What I don't buy, however, is that humans are some how programmed wrong because we do return to the water and that this only proves that we are an abomination unto nature itself.
Now I know, you're probably out there thinking, "Wait a minute, Anonymous-guy-on-the-internet, who thinks these things? What are your sources?" The answer: idiots. Idiots I have to spend every day with. People who, no matter how I shun them, think they are my friends at work and come over and sit at my table during my lunch, making me have to get up and go spend the rest of my lunch at my desk. Now, it could be worse. Yes, this means I get to share my meanderings with everyone in the world, however, it also means that my managers walk by all the time and see something other than work on my computer and think I am "stealing time from the company," even though they have a policy of, if you are on your break, you can use the computers for personal time. Funny that. Sometimes they stop in and ask what I am doing. I say I am on break and they go, "Oh" in a very condescending voice. You know the one. The one that makes you feel like you are explaining that you colored the turtle in the coloring book blue because he wanted to be blue. Don't pretend you don't know what I mean.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah! Apes, I say we just shut the hell up about them and go on with our current human existence. We can worry about them late, when they overthrow the world in 2014.