Thursday, November 09, 2006

Si Mai Wang!

(Shamelessly) stolen from a D&D board I visit:


A few weeks ago, I was perusing the WotC boards in search of things to amuse me. Amusement was found, inspiration came, and here we are, with a mostly finished build which I will present shortly.

What was the inspiration? I can't give a specific quote, but it had to do with monks and their unarmed strikes, and specifically, what a monk could use to perform their unarmed strikes. If the title is not sufficient for you to figure it out, I hope the phrase "naughty bits" will in fact suffice.

The Build:


1. Monk 1 (Alertness, Improved Unarmed Strike, Power Attack, Ki Shout, Murky-Eyed)
2. MOnk 2 (Improved Bull Rush)
3. Ranger 1 (Track, Cleave)
4. Ranger 2 (Two Weapon Fighting)
5. Fighter 1 (Superior Unarmed Strike)
6. Warshaper 1 (Iron Will)
7. Warshaper 2
8. Warshaper 3
9. Initiate of the Draconic Mysteries 1 (Versatile Unarmed Strike)
10. Initiate of the Draconic Mysteries 2
11. Initiate of the Draconic Mysteries 3
12. Initiate of the Draconic Mysteries 4 (Shock Trooper)
13. Initiate of the Draconic Mysteries 5
14. Initiate of the Draconic Mysteries 6
15. Initiate of the Draconic Mysteries 7 (Lunging Strike)
16. Initiate of the Draconic Mysteries 8
17. Singh Rager 1 (Great Ki Shout)
18. Singh Rager 2 (Brutal Attack)
19. Singh Rager 3 (Remain Conscious)
20. Singh Rager 4


Necklace of Natural Weapons +10 (Weapon abilities have yet to be chosen... I need your help!)
Bracers of Striking +7 (See above)
Gauntlets of the Talon
Fanged Ring
Monk's Belt
Monk Tattoo
Skin of Proteus

Money Total: 604910 gp

The Result:

Si Mai Wang, to put it lightly, is a combat machine.

Basic idea? Bab 16 (Four attacks pre-epic, in case you ever want to make an epic Warrior of the Wang), base saves +21 Fortitude, +14 Reflex, +14 Will. Skills could be better, but aren't as bad as fighter 20.

With what equipment we have, without specific choices made, Si Mai Wang's "unarmed strike" is going to do 2d10 baes -> 4d8 Improved Natural Attack ->6d8 Morphic Weapon. The Initiate of the Draconic Mysteries converts this to 6d12 due to its wording. Getting the unarmed strike base damage to 12d12 (its max, RAW) can be done a variety of ways, through metamorphosing into a huge form (Treant, anyone?) for example. In the end, as you'll see later, it really isn't needed, though it is nice...

(Why is 12d12 the max damage of Si Mai Wang's unarmed strike, even though there are a multitude of ways to get the damage higher? As pointed out by Averien, the rules only dictate how the damage scales up to a maximum of 12d8 damage. Though the formula is easy to deduce, going past it (despite its logical rationality) is not RAW, and thus won't be done here. The truth is that the damage can be increased by a total of 6 size categories past 12d8 in the ways I've noted, and probably more if we really tried... but we won't here, because frankly, I like the idea of an unarmed strike that is, RAW, the MOST DAMAGING WEAPON in existence in D&D.)


Here, I will detail some specifics of the build that happen to be particularly entertaining considering the type of unarmed strike used.

1. 12d12 base damage: Si Mai Wang's "unarmed strike" is, as mentioned, the most damaging base weapon in D&D existence. Why? As mentioned, 12d8 is the highest a weapon can get in the RAW. Only the wording of IotDM's "Increased Unarmed Damage" allows for the base damage of the weapon to increase, with the exception of heavy weapons, which only increases the dice size by 1 step instead of IotDM's 2 steps.

I'm told that there is a Dragon Magazine PrC that similarly increases dice steps, but unfortunately I don't have access to it. If I did, Si Mai Wang's "Unarmed strike" would deal 12d20 damage. This loss of perfection is acceptable in that it allows me to take 4 levels of Singh Rager, giving me Pounce.

2. Improved Bull Rush: Si Mai Wang does not provoke attacks of opportunities for bull rush attempts.

3. Morphic Weapons: Si Mai Wang can "enhance" his "unarmed strike" by increasing its base damage by a single size category. Though not explicitely stated, the picture used for Warshaper seems to imply an actual size increase in the natural weapon targetted. Remember, a monk's unarmed strike is treated as a natural weapon and a manufactured weapon for spells and effects that enhance it. This would be one such effect.

Thus, Si Mai Wang's "unarmed strike" will aesthetically be 1 size category bigger then normal, though wielding it will be no more difficult then before.

4. Morphic Body: When in a form other then his base changeling form, Si Mai Wang has +4 strength and constitution.

5. Morphic Reach: With his natural weapons (and therefore, as mentioned, his "unarmed strike"), Si Mai Wang's reach increases by 5 feet.

Now let's think about this for a second. Si Mai Wang's wang now can reach 5 feet past its normal reach, at medium size reaching up to 10 feet away.

I'm told the visual, if imagined, is quite disturbing.

6. Versatile Unarmed Strike: My personal favorite. Si Mai Wang's "unarmed strike" can deal slashing, piercing, or bludgeoning damage as willed by Si Mai Wang.

I think my favorite has to be piercing due to the imagery it conjures up, but slashing holds just as much entertainment, and bludgeoning is entertaining because it seems traditional, and tradition is good.

7. Shock Trooper: Si Mai Wang can sacrifice AC instead of attack bonus when power attacking on a charge. This is both for flavor AND optimizating, considering the abilities Si Mai Wang recieves later.

8. Frightful Presence: Gained from Initiate of the Draconic Mysteries, the concept of a mostly-naked monk capable of a frightful presence ability is just too much to not mention. Especially considering the way Si Mai Wang could concievably generate that fear...

9. Spell Resistance: Si Mai Wang's wang wards him from harm from the power of magic.

10. Lunging Strike: As a full round action, Si Mai Wang can make an attack with an extra 5 feet of reach.

Imagery time. Using a full 6 seconds, Si Mai Wang can make a single 12d12 +str attack to any target within 15 feet as a medium creature. Not even a normal spiked chain wielder can hit that far.

11. Lion's Fury: 3 times a day, Si Mai Wang can enter a rage-like state and gain +4 strength and con, -2 to AC, and +2 to will saves.

All bow to the fury that is Si Mai Wang's wang.

12. Brutal Attack: OK, Versatile Unarmed Strike is hilarious, but harblin' A', guys, the concept of Si Mai Wang using a feat called Brutal Attack to bludgeon a foe into a stunned state with his harblin wang is too much.

I'm crying and laughing at the same time.

13. Pounce: On a charge, Si Mai Wang can make a full attack.

14. Sizing: One of the many abilities Si Mai Wang will place on his wang will include "Sizing".

Reason 1: Sometimes, Si Mai Wang just might feel inclined to make his wang sized for a Collossal creature. Why? Because, by the sizing rules and object size rules listed in the PHB, that would make Si Mai Wang's wang 4 times the size of Si Mai Wang.


Reason 2: Sizing allows Si Mai Wang to make his wang sized for a huge creature, giving him a -4 penalty to attack (boo!) AND 2 size increases in damage, making his medium unarmed strike damage 12d12... just what we needed!

Reason 2b: This also makes Si Mai Wang's unarmed strike a Two-handed weapon, according to the rules for inappropriate (is it ever!) weapon sizes. This means, besides the fact that Si Mai Wang would need to use both hands to wield his wang, that Si Mai Wang can now use the two-handed weapon Power Attack ratio of 2:1 instead of the normal ratio of 1:1.

Add in Shock Trooper and Pounce, and you're looking at +32 to damage to every single attack in a charge.

15. Vorpal: Is it optimal? No. Is the concept of Si Mai Wang BEHEADING SOMEONE WITH HIS WANG totally awesome to the max? Damn right.

Now, ladies (if you're still with us) and gentlemen (I KNOW you're still with us), this build has room for improvement. What weapon abilities should we include? Is there something that can improve this build?

Keep in mind, we're looking for both flavor and optimization... As things stand, Si Mai Wang can pretty easily kill most Great Wyrms in a single charge attack, and I don't want to lose that for a sliiiightly better "flavor" for this build. That said, if you come up with something that does for flavor what Versatile Unarmed Strike or Brutal Attack did, I think we could probably fit it in.

Kensai is a possibility, if we're willing to lose pounce, since adding +10 worth of special attacks could damn well be worth the loss of pounce. Maybe.

So... thoughts? Suggestions? Rants about being scarred for life?

Whaddya think, Scott? Will we be running into Master Wang in the future?


Gobula said...

Penis power! Um, what is his ranged attack (and will there be some kind of "carpal tunnel" save involved?

scott said...

I knew there was a reason I didn't like monks. :D

Hadrian said...

Wow, didn't even have the patience to read that.

Leelu said...

You don't really have to. I just posted the entirety for the rules laywers.

In sum: man can bludgeon you to death. With his penis.

Lummox said...

Did you all catch that? Tiger? With his what now?

Gobula said...

I think you're gonna want to be a black guy.