“Collecting penises is like collecting anything. You can never stop, you can never catch up, you can always get a new one, a better one,” Hjartarson said as he reached into the museum's penis-shaped cash register to return some change to a customer, before picking up a phone of the same shape.
From this article about the Icelandic Phallological Museum:
The Icelandic Phallological Museum (Icelandic: Hið Íslenzka Reðasafn) in Húsavík, Iceland houses the world's largest collection of penises and penile parts. By July 2011, it had 276 penises taken from 46 species, including homo sapiens. Its collection includes 55 penises taken from whales, 36 from seals and 118 from land mammals, including a wide variety of domestic, wild, terrestrial, and marine animals and an unfortunate stray polar bear shot by fishermen who found it drifting on pack ice off the Westfjords. . . .
Friday, July 29, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
The Girl That Haunts My Dreams
- by Farland Dane
(A dwarfish love song)
Her eyes are as dark as a brandy, so fine.
Her lips are as sweet as bumblefruit wine.
And I want to plant my pick deep in her mine.
The woman that haunts my dreams.
She has a firm grip and she never lets go.
Her thighs hold me tight to her while in the throes.
I feel passion with her that I've never known.
The woman that haunts my dreams.
Her smile is so wicked while we work up a sweat.
She’s wild and screams, “Oh, you’re not finished yet.”
She mines my shaft deep for all she can get.
The woman that haunts my dreams.
She moves like a river running wild and fast.
I try to keep pace but not sure I can last.
We finally finish in a gigantic blast.
I wake up and change my sheets.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Ptolus Campaign Recap: Session 1
17th of Blessing, 721 I.A. (Imperial Age)
Our intrepid adventurers, for one reason or another, find themselves in Ptolus, the City by the Spire. They each, for reasons of their own, end up at the Ghostly Minstrel in Delver's Square. Farland Dane, the gnome bard, is there for the music and the connections he can make to Ptolus's bardic community. He quickly makes friends with the talented Tarin Ursalatao who has, of late, been a regular on the Minstrel's stage. When he's not hanging out at the Minstrel, drinking too much, and sleeping it off in the dog bed behind the bar, Farland plays a regular gig at The Black Swan pub where he is picking up some of the raunchiest dwarven drinking songs around. Through Tarin, Farland is introduced to Marlowe Atrabonc, the chief writer and director at Midtown's Cloud Theater. Marlowe offers Farland a part in the orchestra for his newest play "The Boy Who Could Sing."
Meanwhile, Grimslade the Vermin Hunter, a refugee from the sacked Imperial Capital, Tarsis, arrives in Ptolus enticed by the promise of a newly announced bounty on the tails of the Ratmen that plague the sewers and sometimes streets of Ptolus. Grimslade visits Bith the Ratter, one of Ptolus' more interesting small businessmen, and is pointed towards a rat hunting job at, of all places, the Cloud Theater.
Prithvi, the enigmatic, yet blunt Vanara woman takes a room at the Ghostly Minstrel and strikes up conversations with the other patrons. Prithvi has a sweet tooth, and spends extravagantly in the Minstrel's dining room. She is inquisitive, and soon makes the acquaintance of several other of the Inn's guests, including the handsome young cleric Auric, and the dwarf mage, T_______.
.... to be edited and expanded.
Our intrepid adventurers, for one reason or another, find themselves in Ptolus, the City by the Spire. They each, for reasons of their own, end up at the Ghostly Minstrel in Delver's Square. Farland Dane, the gnome bard, is there for the music and the connections he can make to Ptolus's bardic community. He quickly makes friends with the talented Tarin Ursalatao who has, of late, been a regular on the Minstrel's stage. When he's not hanging out at the Minstrel, drinking too much, and sleeping it off in the dog bed behind the bar, Farland plays a regular gig at The Black Swan pub where he is picking up some of the raunchiest dwarven drinking songs around. Through Tarin, Farland is introduced to Marlowe Atrabonc, the chief writer and director at Midtown's Cloud Theater. Marlowe offers Farland a part in the orchestra for his newest play "The Boy Who Could Sing."
Meanwhile, Grimslade the Vermin Hunter, a refugee from the sacked Imperial Capital, Tarsis, arrives in Ptolus enticed by the promise of a newly announced bounty on the tails of the Ratmen that plague the sewers and sometimes streets of Ptolus. Grimslade visits Bith the Ratter, one of Ptolus' more interesting small businessmen, and is pointed towards a rat hunting job at, of all places, the Cloud Theater.
Prithvi, the enigmatic, yet blunt Vanara woman takes a room at the Ghostly Minstrel and strikes up conversations with the other patrons. Prithvi has a sweet tooth, and spends extravagantly in the Minstrel's dining room. She is inquisitive, and soon makes the acquaintance of several other of the Inn's guests, including the handsome young cleric Auric, and the dwarf mage, T_______.
.... to be edited and expanded.
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